


Fraxus Week 2016: Unworthy

by Anxious_Procrastinating



Series: Fraxus Week 2016 [4]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Fraxus Week, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7514245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxious_Procrastinating/pseuds/Anxious_Procrastinating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fraxus Week is here again!:) Spread the love! This is Day 4. Prompt: Fantasia</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fraxus Week 2016: Unworthy

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey guys!:) Here is my entry for Day 4 of Fraxus Week. Prompt: Fantasia.
> 
> I hope you like it!:)

After the battle against the Alvarez Empire, Fairy Tail could finally enjoy a period of peace and stability. And in October what was better than a great Fantasia Festival?

They hadn't been able to celebrate one since that time Laxus had sabotaged it, because of the 7 years in which the most powerful members of the guild had been trapped on Tenrou Island and Fairy Tail had consequently lost its prestige, and because after the battle with Tartaros the guild had been disbanded.

Now, finally, it was time for celebrating again, but not everyone in the guild showed the same enthusiasm. Rather, there was a pretty gloomy aura spreading from Laxus, who sat in a corner of the guild, silently observing everyone getting ready for the parade, including his own team.

Differently from what one could think, he was really happy for the cheery mood the whole guild was in and glad that they were finally calm and relaxed enough to party without worries. But Fantasia still held a special place in his heart and Laxus was reliving memories and feelings he would rather not have.

He remembered when he was a child, as he watched in awe the older Fairy Tail mages performing spectacular spells on their floats, amazing him just as much as the crowd of non-mages who weren't used to such wonders. His grandfather was always with him, helping him see through the crowd of people and always promising him that one day he would be there with his fellow guild members.

And that day had finally arrived and he was so happy to be one of those proud mages, letting the people admire him and his magic. And towards the end of the parade he'd done that gesture that he had promised his grandfather he would do, a gesture that had now become one of Fairy Tail's most meaningful symbols.

These were actually happy memories, but then everything shattered to pieces. He had always been amazed by strength, because when he was a little boy he was weak and he had always desired to be stronger, to make his father proud. After Ivan implanted the lacrima in his body, things started to go south.

He got more and more obsessed with it, thinking that it was the only weapon through which one can get respect. And when he saw his guild being looked down upon and laughed at he couldn't help but feel an uncontrollable rage. He'd been bullied as a child because of his weakness. He knew how it felt to be laughed at, belittled, to feel that maybe the bad things he was called were true. He didn't want that for Fairy Tail.

But how come that when he was a little boy the guild was so admirable and now it had been reduced to a laughingstock? He thought that it was his grandfather's fault, he'd handled it in a bad way, just like it had happened with the family, which had fallen apart. That couldn't happen to his guild, so he found a way to protect it. A way he learnt that was completely wrong.

He'd felt guilty. He still did. He had wanted to protect Fairy Tail, so that his comrades would never feel the weight of not being accepted, but he'd been the first one who hadn't been able to accept them the way they were and he would never be able to forgive himself for that.

But then he'd been welcomed again. Gildarts had readmitted him in the guild and everyone had cheered as if he had done nothing wrong. And while he felt relieved by that, he couldn't help but feel even a worse person than before.

He'd tried to make up for his sins, doing what he could against both Tartaros and Alvarez, but he felt that it would never be enough.

Freed had always been by his side, especially in these moments of self-loathing, helping him see that he had meant well, even if his actions had been bad. That everyone had understood that and that everyone knew that he was a good person. And that he loved him no matter what he had done and would do in the future. That was indeed comforting, but those bad thoughts never really left him.

As Laxus drowned in booze and self-contempt, the Rune mage walked to him. He had coated his face in white makeup and he wore a red lipstick that covered both sides of his of his face, reaching the middle of his cheeks. His green hair was incredibly messy. "Why so serious?" he asked.

Laxus chuckled at the Batman reference. "Are you going to go out like that tomorrow?"

"No, we were all playing with some makeup and that's the result on me"

"You look good" Laxus commented with a smirk.

"Thank you, maybe for Halloween I'll dress like that. And you'll be my Harley Quinn" he replied smugly.

"Suuureee" he said ironically.

"So? Care to tell me what's bothering you? You've been like this the whole week"

Laxus sighed. "It's Fantasia. I'm not going to take part"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

That was another thing that made him extremely sad. Laxus really would have wanted to participate, because he loved the parade. But that would have meant that he had put everything he'd done behind him and he just couldn't. It wasn't right. "I don't deserve it"

"Are you still dwelling on this?!" Freed asked, seemingly exasperated.

It wasn't that he was _exasperated_ , but he thought that Laxus should really stop feeling guilty for past things. Even he had somehow overcome that stage, now it was Laxus's turn.

Freed understood how he felt, since he'd been through that as well. He had hurt his guild too, it didn't matter if he hadn't wanted to, he had. And it had felt good to be accepted back in without any protest, but he had felt bad about not being exiled as well. He'd hurt his comrades just as much as Laxus, but he hadn't been punished. Just like Evergreen and Bickslow he had wanted to go with him, because his heart had shattered at the mere thought of being separated from him, but Laxus had wanted them to stay there.

He had understood that Laxus had realized how much the guild meant for them and hadn't wanted them to leave it for him. And Freed had decided that he would follow Laxus's orders, because he didn't want to give him a further punishment, making him know that they had abandoned something that they held dear just for him. So he bore the pain in his heart as he watched him depart, helped by the feeling in his gut that told him that the man he loved would be back.

It had been a hard separation for Laxus too. He had acted like he didn't care much, but he knew he would miss everyone. Especially after they'd said farewell to him with the sign he'd designed. That had broken his heart.

On Tenrou Island Freed had been proven right. Laxus was back and he had struggled there, against Tartaros and against Alvarez to prove himself worthy of being part of the guild again and Freed would never get tired of saying it, of pointing it out, even on the brink of death if necessary, not just because he loved him, but also because he knew that he truly regretted every single thing, from the moment he had come back to his senses after the battle with Natsu and Gajeel.

_Laxus slowly opened his eyes, he felt like a wreck. He saw the Kardia Cathedral's vault and, with the corner of his eye, a flash of green._

_"Freed?" he asked tentatively and the younger man came into sight giving him a tiny, sad smile._

_"Laxus, how are you feeling?"_

_Laxus tried to sit up, finding it extremely hard, when suddenly he felt hands behind his back helping him and supporting him. Even staying in Freed's arms, he found himself unable to meet his gaze, feeling ashamed and on the brink of tears._

_"I'm so sorry" he whispered._

_"Don't be" said the smaller man, smiling reassuringly, and Laxus burst into tears, burrowing his face in his chest._

_It didn't matter that he had lost, that he wasn't going to be the Master of Fairy Tail, that people would still mock his guild. Right now all that mattered was that he'd hurt his comrades. The Raijinshuu more than all of them. He'd taken so much from them, too much. And yet they had supported him and Freed was there, telling him that it was ok, with that smile._

_"Hey, don't cry. It's everything ok" Freed said, stroking Laxus's hair, trying to comfort him._

_Laxus was still sobbing, but he pulled away from Freed's chest, still clutching his clothes and looked at him with red, teary eyes. "Thank you" he said. "I'm really grateful to have you. I promise I won't hurt you anymore"_

"You know I can't do it…" said Laxus with a sad smile.

Freed dropped on his knees to be face-level with his lover and he cupped his chin with his fingers. He was well aware of what Fantasia meant for Laxus and he wasn't letting him sacrificing himself for an unjustified guilt.

"I just know you're berating yourself for something no one is mad about anymore. Isn't it pointless?"

Putting it like that made it seem that Freed had a point. But the truth was another one. "It's the right thing" he said in resignation.

"No it isn't! This thing is consuming you. You have to stop!" he snapped.

"Freed…" Laxus was left speechless at his boyfriend's sudden outburst.

"In 24 hours I want you on top of that damn float, showing off your magic like there's no tomorrow. If you're not there, I won't perform either. And Ever and Bickslow will probably do the same" he said sternly.

"Don't be like this! You can't blackmail me!" countered Laxus.

"Can't I?" replied Freed with a devilish grin and with that makeup it was kind of creepy. "This is my decision. Now it's your turn to choose"

Laxus seemed conflicted, he knew that even if Freed was smiling, he would totally do what he had promised. He would never deprive the Raijinshuu of Fantasia, he knew they cared about the parade just as much as him. With a sigh he agreed, feigning annoyance. "Fine. I'll be on your dang float"

"Yes!" exclaimed Freed excited and hugged him. Laxus hugged him back and smiled, secretly thankful that his lover could be so stubborn.

The following day the parade was a success. People cheered and screamed upon seeing the greatness of the Fairy Tail mages. On the Raijinshuu float stood Laxus, tall and proud, making his lightning dance and creating beautiful patterns and shapes. It felt good. That was what he wanted, being part of it. And it was only thanks to Freed, because he was the only one who could convince him. He shot him a beaming smile and Freed grinned back to him, glad to see Laxus so joyful. That smile rarely crossed his features, but when it did, Freed felt his heart soaring in his chest. Laxus's happiness was his happiness.

After the parade finished and everyone and everything was cleaned up, Laxus and Freed walked back home, hand in hand, Laxus more cheerful than ever. At home they settled in the bed, Laxus hugged Freed from behind and whispered in his ear: "I'm really grateful to have you, you always know how to make me happy"

Freed smiled at the heartwarming words that he had already heard coming out from his lover's lips in a totally different situation and turned his head around, stealing a soft kiss from him.

"It's a privilege to be able to make you happy"

Laxus rolled his eyes, but he liked hearing that kind of things. "I love you so goddamn much, even if you're cheesy as hell"

"That's _exactly_ why you love me" Freed replied chuckling. He didn't care if he sounded stupid or cheesy or whatever. That was how he felt and he wanted to express it.

Since he met Laxus, he thought that he had been a privileged man to be allowed to stay by the lightning mage's side. Having the chance to be with him, the fact that the feelings he'd thought he would have to repress and restrain were returned...it was a blessing.

"Damn, you're right" admitted Laxus.

The Rune mage giggled and rolled over to fully face his boyfriend. Then he turned serious and locking eyes with him he said with all the sentiment he could convey: "I love you too, Laxus"

Laxus was struck by the words. It wasn't like Freed had never told him that, but the emotions he saw swimming in those eyes never failed to make his heart skip a beat. Before he could say anything, Freed continued: "Making you happy is my job"

"Oh, so now I'm a job for you" he retorted, feigning hurt. "Is it at least a pleasant one?"

"The best I could ever ask for" mumbled happily Freed, feeling tired from the day and way too comfortable in the warmth of Laxus's arms.

Laxus rested his forehead against Freed's and stroked his cheek, relishing in the feeling of having him there, in his arms. Freed gave him a smile and slowly closed his eyes, fully relaxed as he enjoyed Laxus's hand caressing him. Not much later he drifted off to sleep and Laxus smiled to himself, watching his lover for a while, taking in every little detail of the delicate face he loved so much, tracing the jawline with his fingers. Moving Freed's hair out of the way, Laxus nestled his face in his neck, letting himself drown in his scent. Soon after, he fell asleep too.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if this is a bit shitty...It was actually the hardest prompt to write for. I can think a lot about Laxus and Fantasia, but then I would automatically add Makarov or Ivan, not Freed :P So yeah, I struggled a bit with this one...I hope it doesn't suck too much...
> 
> Anyway for those who don't know: Freed's makeup is like Heath Ledger's Joker. Joker is Batman's enemy. And Harley Quinn is kind of his girlfriend. Kind of because they have a really particular relationship :P


End file.
